Chicory (Controlling Love)
Have you ever felt that you do so much for others, never thinking about yourself, and they treat you badly? Are you finding yourself always giving so much love and you are curious as to why you don't get that same love back? "Don't worry about our arrangements, I'll come over to you and help you with your homework, and I'll bring us something to eat."
Chicory people have a lot of love to give. They are very mindful of the needs of others - but in the negative aspect it becomes selfish, possessive and overbearing. They tend to be over-full of care for their loved ones but it tips over to being obtrusive trying to keep relationships close at hand and controlling behaviour by always finding something that should be put right. They can feel very hurt at the slightest snub and may resort to emotional blackmail, correction or scolding. "I sometimes think that you forget that you've got a mother." is a typical chicory statement where the mother won't let her grown-up children lead their own life and complain of being neglected if they don't visit or call three or four times a week.
Chicory will help to encourage true generosity in the Chicory state, where love can be given freely with no thought of return and without hampering the freedom of others.
Sophie has just started dating Simon. She does everything for him, meeting him at the gate at school, with the cake that she made for him yesterday, she walks the extra distant to his classes, and she is waiting for him when he comes out of class, for break. She really does not like it when he does not pay her attention, and she gets hurt really badly if she sees him talking to anyone else. She threatens him with taking away her affections if he doesn't pay her all his attention. Simon is feeling a little suffocated.
Taking Chicory will balance Sophie's constant need to have Simon close and will allow space for the relationship to develop in its own time.
By losing ourselves in the love and care of those around us, enjoying the glorious adventure of gaining knowledge and helping others, our personal griefs and sufferings rapidly come to an end. This is the great ultimate aim, the loosing of our own interests in the service of humanity. (CW134)
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